Hi all (if anyone still follows this),
I’m closing this blog and creating a new one with a dear friend of mine. If you want to follow it, you can find it here. Thank you so much!
Hi all (if anyone still follows this),
I’m closing this blog and creating a new one with a dear friend of mine. If you want to follow it, you can find it here. Thank you so much!
So, it’s no secret that I’m very very awkward. I mean, like my whole life is just…yikes!
I’m that person who, when I don’t know if I should say hi to someone, will go to the ends of the Earth to avoid making eye contact with or talking to that person. I don’t know why, it’s just my instinctual reaction!
So to help you awkward folks (and myself) out, here are some tips to get you out of your comfort zone and right into the action zone/frying pan/the cruel cruel real world. And they totally work! Yep 100% not a chance of failure!*
Say hi to those people. yes, the people you see but avoid even breathing the same air. They might be wondering why you’re so standoffish, and then that confusion might turn into resentment and they might just think of you as a dick…So break the ice and wave hello. If they don’t wave back, just whip and nae nae outta that room.
Go on that date. Be it through Tinder, Grindr, or (gasp!!!) in real life, there could be that special person just waiting for you! You might click with that person, or that date might be a complete dud. But this is your chance to test out your flirting skills! Maybe get a free meal or try something new. The world is your oyster! It’s not like they’re going to stalk you on LinkedIn or anything…
Leave that phone at home. Because we all know you’re not doing anything important with it! It’ll be easier to make friends, especially with that enchanting gentleman who decides to enlighten you about his broken thumb. Cheers to new friends!
Be yourself! Being awkward sucks sometimes. There will be days that you just sit there and think about the one (or many) embarrassing moments that make your stomach curl into itself and where you just want to hide from the world. It’s alright though, Chipotle and a comfy bed never lets you down.**
*They do not.
**Except for E.coli or whatever.
Hello, it me! On my previous post, I stated that I would do a review of Terressentials, and here it is!
Basically, it all started with a leftover bottle of the Left Coast Lemon that I had in my mom’s bathroom. Quite frankly, after using it, I was surprised that I stopped using it. To this day, I still can’t figure it out, but I digress…
Since I moved to Madison, I’ve been looking for places to get natural hair products. What I found instead was the Community Pharmacy on State Street. Rather than having to buy one bottle of Terressentials on the website and paying $10 in shipping (yep it’s that high), I get to walk to a store that’s about 3 blocks away from me, and pay about the same for one bottle! Plus, I can special order any variety that I want, should I not see it at the store.
According to the website, Terressentials hair wash is supposed to rid the hair of any plastics, silicones, etc. while gently cleansing by absorbing excess dirt and oil. There is also a detox period in which you are supposed to wash your hair with the product for seven days. I kind of did my own twist to this detox period by washing my hair with it once, letting it stay for a few hours, and then washing it every three or so days.
I usually mix about a quarter of a small bottle of the clay wash and fill the rest with water. I then section my hair, pour some of the mixture in the different sections all the while scrubbing my scalp and smoothing the mixture down my hair. I would then twist those sections and put a plastic cap (or plastic bag) over my hair for a bit and then go about my business (I usually fall asleep).
I should probably warn you all because this stuff is really messy. Be prepared to clean it up or have lots of newspapers!
Other than that, I’ve been using the Lavender Garden hair wash and I LOVE IT. It smells divine, it’s moisturizing, and I haven’t felt the need to use any other kind of conditioner or deep conditioner. My only gripe with the product is that it’s a bit drippy and doesn’t have much slip, but it’s clay, so I’m not too sure what I was expecting…
I normally finger detangle my hair while I’m under the showerhead since the water pushes my hair down either way. So basically, I’m sitting under cool water for about 40 minutes while smoothing my hair down, detangling, and re-twisting my hair.
After that, I wrap a cotton shirt around my head, lotion up, grab my Alaffia hair lotion, olive oil, and Trader Joe’s aloe vera gel, and get to work!
Since I was going out the next day, I decided to do a braid out and this was the result!
(Not pictured: me looking like Felisha)
The best thing about this product is that it has saved me a lot of time. My hair is so soft that sometimes I just find my hands running through my strands, and I’m still in awe. I’m not too sure if I will continue the no deep conditioner regimen that I just started, but I haven’t finished my Shea Moisture deep conditioners plus I’m planning to invest in a steamer. So the answer is probably not.
So, I moved to Madison not too long ago, and so far summer here has been…well, summer-y. It’s hot one day, humid the next, and when both of those things happen…well, you’re pretty much screwed.
So naturally, when it’s hot and I don’t want to repeat the mistake of overdressing in the heat, I wear shorts. No big deal right?
For some reason, when I came to the Midwest, I expected hospitality, kindness, courtesy, you know. But this morning, and I’m talking about 7 in the morning, when I went to get my car, some douchebag really just had the nerve to slow down, leer at me, and freaking yell obscenities at me. Like he legit yelled “I want to fuck you.”
Like really? Who even does that?
I tend to feel self conscious when wearing shorts because, despite the fact that I’m rather slim, my lower body is a bit curvy. Don’t get me wrong, I love it! But when I wear anything that remotely hikes up at the back, I just feel like someone’s just leering, and are about to say something. And they do. And it sucks.
There’s nothing worse than some scumbag leaning out of his car and just ruining my day by making me feel gross.
Catcalling. It’s not cool. It’s weird. Like, are you seriously expecting us to chase you down while asking for your number?
Simmer down thirsty ones! Let me wear my shorts in peace!
So…it’s been a while. I wanted to update like two months ago, but life happened I guess. Since the, I’ve graduated university, spent time with family in New York, Philly, and Florida, attended a Beyonce concert with my lovely cousin, moved to a new state, and started a new job. So yeah, life is pretty hectic, but I love it!
The reason I’m writing today, I guess, is that I had a pretty weird/kind of normal experience last night. I went out with a few friends, had dinner, grabbed some drinks. You know, the “normal” things that 20-somethings do.
But, yesterday, this older lady came up to me and gushed about how lovely I looked, with my “effortless” bun, beautiful dress, smooth skin, and amazing hair. Granted, I was flattered, especially since she complimented me without touching me (it’s happened before, people have literally just reached their hands into my hair without permission).
The bizarre thing was when she kept repeating that she’d “kill” to have hair and skin like mine, while I was just there smiling, laughing, kind of drunk. But thinking about it today, it’s just strange that the things that I hated about myself when I was younger are the things that people are kind of enticed by. I think my wording is off, but hopefully you catch my drift.
What I’m meaning to say is that we hear so much about people hating the bodies that they were born in. Azealia Banks and Lil’ Kim bleaching their skin, you know. Those two women are beautiful, but it’s so sad that they find it necessary to alter themselves. I think I’m kind of rambling today. It’s just been such a weird time for me, growing into myself and loving myself.
Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to update more. I have a bottle of Terressentials that I’m dying to do a review on, plus I’ve been indigoing my hair! So, until then, stay safe and love yourselves!
So in honor of the trending #blacksalonproblems, I decided to hit up a salon that I’ve been hearing rave reviews about.
Just kidding! I’d actually made an appointment almost two months before for my graduation. It’s called Simply Erinn’s, and it’s nestled in the lovely Cambridge, Massachusetts, near MIT.
The salon itself was so cute, with it being quite small and cozy. Not to mention the fact that as soon as I entered, I was received with a warm welcome by the stylists. Erinn came over, introduced herself, and shook my hand. I then received a form to fill out that documented my hair story. I needed to note any allergies, products that I use, colorings, trims, you know, the whole nine yards.
While I was sitting and filling those things out, the other stylists came over and introduced themselves and they all conversed rather happily.
I was led over to the shampooing area by another stylist and Erinn came over, sat down, and asked me about my regimen. She also had the stylist explain the reasoning behind everything that they did. That they would be shampooing my hair multiple times in order to get rid of the buildup that was on my hair. She also explained the fact that the shampoo that they were using is more formulated for our hair, the type that was naturally dry because of the inability of sebum to travel as easily down our hair shafts. As such, the shampooing would not be stripping. Which was understandable because I’m pretty sure my hair has been dry because of the buildup.
The shampooing and conditioning was, with no better words, AMAZING. Normally, when I go to a salon, the stylists tend to use their nails, and I’m just like…why God? But this time around, she used the pads of her fingers and I haven’t had a scalp massage like that since…well, ever. Even when detangling my hair, she used a wide toothed comb, which is just a blessing because people tend to complain about the following:
And I felt pretty much no pain. That’s saying something because my eyes pretty much well up at the simply pull of my hair. Yeah. After getting my hair conditioned, moisturized, and plaited up, I was sent off to the chair for my blowout. I was looking at my hair like, woah, yesss! It has grown! Look mom!
So Erinn came up, explained some more things about my hair, put heat protectant in my hair, and started flat ironing away. While this was happening, I was having a pretty insightful conversation with another stylist, who was just hilarious, I loved it. Erinn remarked on the differences in texture between the top half of my hair and the bottom half.
She’d asked me if I had any kind of chemical treatments, color, etc. because the difference was just strange. She kept trying to figure it out. Then she asked me if I wet my hair a lot. Bingo. Basically, me wetting my hair, in the shower and in general, without putting something moisturizing on it, damaged my hair over time. So I’d have to get a cut. How much? Like five inches…
I could feel the difference. And I wanted to throw a tantrum and cry, because how could I be so dumb? I was just looking at my hair like…but it’s at bra strap…I worked so hard! Long story short, we negotiated that cut down to like 2-3 inches because I was not about that mini chop life. Not at the moment. She grabbed those clippers and all I could see were my fallen strands.
Then she set about curling my hair and stuff. She wasn’t satisfied with her results as the lower portion of my hair wouldn’t hold the curl. I was really touched by her determination and her perfectionist tendency, because I thought it looked good. It just shows that she’s really committed to perfection in her salon and I give her props for that.
Overall, I give this salon a 10/10 for their standards, customer service, and the service in general. I truly wished that I was able to discover this gem earlier because I feel that this salon has spoiled me. If you’re interested, you can visit simplyerinns.com to book an appointment!
Hopefully, I’ll be able to find one like this in Wisconsin, but let’s be honest. I won’t.
So, I’ll be graduating in T minus 12 days and I’m super excited! I’ll finally receive that degree that I’ve been working my bum off for..forever. I’ll moving to a new city in a new state,and starting a new job in July. So this is definitely a new chapter in my life.
It seems so unreal that I’m sitting here, post-finals, playing Town of Salem with my roommate, and lounging around, and I’m done. I’ve ordered my cap and gown, tried on my dresses for graduation and formal. Senior week is just around the corner. Much debauchery to have and memories to be made.
There’s this sense of hope and happiness that I have knowing that I’m graduating, but I also feel sadness knowing how much everything is going to change. I won’t be returning to the familiar faces of my friends and roommates. I won’t be able to casually go to my friends’ rooms to hang out, because they’ll be thousands of miles away from me.
I’m not sweating it though. I’m looking forward to all of the things that being a working woman has to offer. I want to be able to make new friends, learn new things, drive and live by myself. I don’t want to have to depend on others for things that I want or need.
So for now, later! I’ll probably post about graduation!
So the other day (meaning a long time ago), I was speaking with an older cousin of mine. By older, I mean like mid-thirties. Quite frankly, our conversation made me sad.
Basically, she pulled on one of my strands and said the following “your hair would be so long and pretty if you just put some cream in it,” by this, she means a relaxer. So, naturally, me being respectful, I just laugh and said that no I like my hair the way it is.
So then, she pretty much responds saying that my hair is just a phase, and that I’ll come to my senses, blah, blah blah.
I love my family and all, but obviously, this pissed me off. Apparently me wearing the hair that grows out of my head in its natural form is a phase? How? When? Why? Where?
I perfectly understand that not everyone is going to accept my hair journey, but when someone belittles you for the reasoning that, get this: they failed their own natural hair journeys makes no sense to me.
Frankly, I like washing, detangling, hennaing, and just all around messing with my hair. It’s fun! I love how I can wear an afro one day, straighten it the next day, and then do something else later. Hell, I love the compliments, the stares, and the questions I get. Yeah, I know I’m unique, I’ll flaunt it!
Bottom line is, when nobody calls for you, don’t come after them.
So, I’m about to be an aunt. Like an actual aunt. People may think, “oh what’s the big deal? It’s not your child,” or “you already have nieces and nephews, what’s the big deal?”
Yes ladies and gentlemen, and those who fall in between, I am an aunt. One that is very much excited and scared to be an aunt, again. But this time, there is a difference. This is the child of my brother. The one that I’ve grown up with. The one who has both bullied and protected me. The one who I’ve taken my love of video games and Dragonball Z from. He’s the one that taught me how to drive. He’s the one who contributed to the madness that you see here.
He is the one who has both annoyed me and inspired me. I’ve confided in him and hid things from him when I believed that he wouldn’t understand me. But he hasn’t judged me for it, well as far as I know.
So, thinking about him in this way, and thinking about how we’ve grown up together, growing both apart and closer, naturally this child will be someone very special to me. I hope that I will be the greatest aunt to him. I hope I will be able to guide him to the right paths. I hope that I can love him unconditionally. I think I will actually.
There’s always a sadness that comes with thinking about my new nephew. I know I won’t be able to protect him from all of the failings of society. Nobody will. I know he will have his moments when he’s scared and I won’t know what to do. I know that there will be moments when he won’t even want to talk to me.
Most selfishly though, the greatest sadness that I feel right now is the fact that I’m growing up.
There is only one year in my life when I wasn’t an aunt. But my brother’s child shows that those days of playing Tekken 2, those days when I could selfishly cry for his attention, those days when I was player 2, those days when we would run outside barefooted on scalding concrete in the blazing Jamaican sun, those days when we were children are gone. They’re only fond memories, and it’s hard to handle that.
The only thing I can do is adjust to this. I can only make sure that my nephew has the best childhood. I can only look forward to that.
Have you ever had those days where you listen to a great song and you just feel like you can do anything? Something that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world, like a straight up badass?
With the release of Beyoncé’s new album, “Lemonade,” I see a lot of people focusing on the infidelity aspect of the album. You can take a listen on Tidal, which is free for 30 days I believe. Anyway, I’ve seen people commenting things like “this bitch is crazy,” blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, irrelevance, etc. That’s great and all, we all have a bit of crazy in us. I love the humanity in this album, the anger, the sadness, the jealousy, the culture, the badassery (if that’s a word). But I choose to focus on the representation that she uses in her videos.
I could have used a role model that showed the same messages as her when I was younger. I’m not saying that Beyoncé wasn’t around when I was a child, because she was. The messages that I got from her were those of confidence. But, quite frankly, the message didn’t reach my heart, because as I’ve previously written, I was a tiny dark-skinned child with little confidence and society was doing nothing to help that.
Now as an adult, well kind of, my heart melts when she showcases Blue Ivy, with her cute little afro with the lyrics “I like my baby with baby hair and afro. I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils.” She showcases the beauty of her child after all of the attacks on her innocence. People talking about how her hair needs to be combed and how Beyoncé is a bad mother for having her leave the house like that. This little girl is perfect the way she is. She is beautiful, and Beyoncé will not let society degrade her baby.
Beyoncé’s use of so many black women with their diverse shades, textures, and talents gave me life. I honestly wanted to just rip these braids out and wave my afro around, but too bad I paid $100 to install them. Soon enough though. But I digress. This representation of black women who were doing so much, so much ballet, so much sports, singing, poetry, among others, shows, especially for the younger ladies and gents, how much beauty and potential. The light ones, the dark ones, and the ones in-between all know that they are beautiful. They all know that they can slay.
I love Beyoncé for showing them that. I only hope that they will take that to heart.