Posted in Fluff/Ramblings, School/University Life, Uncategorized

On being excited for the future

I’m at that crossroads in my life where I’m about to transition into a completely new part of my life. I will go from being in an institution where I’m surrounded by people my age to a place where friends aren’t so easy to find. I will be responsible for all of my bills, housing, food, you name it. And I’m so excited for it.

It’s strange because for me, leaving university is a manner for me to find myself, especially because I feel that, despite the fact that I have had so many years to try to realize what I want, my answer to that annoying question is still “no comment.” I have family pushing me in towards one area, but I realize that I will have to woman up and make my own decisions. I want to be happy, and for me, happiness doesn’t necessarily include me having some prestigious law degree while I rot away in my shitty six figure job while resenting me family for pushing me into something for their bragging rights.

I want to make sure that I truly want to do something before I do it, even if it includes angering my family, because at the end of the day, it’s my life. So, even if I make my mistakes, they are mine and mine alone to learn from. I will pick myself up, brush myself off, and start over. As long as I am happy and can learn from my decisions.

Posted in Fluff/Ramblings, Ramblings, Uncategorized

#tweetlikeapickme

Why are people always trying to put each other down? Every time I go online, someone, usually some attention-seeking woman, posts something like: 12046693_1661383437451670_2685600402066534320_n

Ok great cool. I mean, good for her that she found someone that was willing to push themselves to be successful. He’s worked hard and he sure as hell didn’t lay up on the couch just saying that he was going to do something. So don’t hate on me for pushing myself and then not necessarily wanting to have someone who is barely there. There will be those men who push themselves, but there are also bum, so yeah.

There’s that and then I’m hit with something like :

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Yeah…No. Honestly,I love wearing shorts. I love my tank tops, I love my body. Not to mention, calling someone a slut just because of how they dress is just downright shameful. Like, really? Me exposing my skin puts me in a bad light just because some pervy dude can’t keep his dick in check? Ok, bye.

So when I found this article on Blavity. I couldn’t help but die. It was so accurate. It was beautiful. I love seeing ignorant people get dragged, but this was a wonderful manner to throw shade at those people who put other people down for their own benefits.I mean come on ladies (and gents, because I’ve definitely seen some of that), if you’re really willing to put up with some of these lowlife men or women, then you need a reality check and some self esteem.

Anyway, enjoy your days. Keep your heads up and love yourselves, you know, without putting other people down.

 

Posted in Fluff/Ramblings, School/University Life, Uncategorized

Giving up for your own sanity (part 2)

Wow, this took a while for me to update. The weird thing is that it was through a visit from Viola Davis that I gathered up the confidence to do this again. She was amazing, but maybe I’ll write about that later. With that, let’s carry on with this subject!

Having someone say that you’re the reason that they’re still alive and that you’re somehow expected to continue that role is something that no one should have to experience, especially when they are so young. The worst thing is when you don’t know if you should tell someone, or in my case, call psychological services. Here’s the short answer. Do it.

Why? I got lucky. I’m sitting here writing to you about a former friend who is still alive. Alive being the key word. I could not even imagine how it would be if that person had taken their own life. The kind of guilt that would evoke would be soul crushing and heart wrenching. If you think that someone is a danger to their own lives, call someone. They may hate you. In fact, they probably will, but do it.

I tried the method of appeasing that person, but they still hate me. I’m not even sure if they’re okay, but at the moment, that’s something that is out of my hands. I’m sure that if I had called psych services, this person would have received the help that they needed. But, that’s just how it is. For the moment, these are the things that I have gathered:

  1. No matter what you do, the person will resent you for not being able to be there from them.
  2. If you’re the closest to them, they will hate you the most.
  3. They will abuse you, tell you everything that you’ve done wrong to them.
  4. They will listen to none of your thoughts, none of your feelings, no matter how legitimate they are.
  5. You will feel bad for leaving…
  6. But you have to, and will, get over it.

Self care is important. Listen to your heart and your soul. Know that giving up doesn’t mean that you don’t love the person, it just means that you know to love yourself. Sometimes, that’s all that matters.