So this topic has been weighing on my mind for the past couple of months actually. I’m not sure if it can apply to a romantic relationship in the spirit of valentines day, so for now, I will be speaking about another kind of heartbreak…a friendship breakup.
There’s something about giving up that just makes you feel like the sum of the earth. Especially when you’re giving up on someone that you love. Furthermore, it gets worse when that person is someone that you spend so much time with that you don’t even know how to function when they’re not there. You imagine them with you for the rest of their loves. You’ll be there through the greatest moments of their lives and the worst, you can only hope that they feel the same way. But what happens when the worst part of their lives causes them to turn on you? It turns them into someone that you don’t recognize? Someone that tries to control your life?
In my case, I had to go through the rounds of ending a friendship that was dear to me due to the other party’s mental status. It was the very reason that I didn’t want to end the relationship because they stated that I was their rock, and they were mine. But, during this point in our friendship, our relationship went from mutual understandings to me being their caretaker. It went from deep conversations to belittling me for “not doing enough.” It went from us being each others rocks to them saying that I was the only reason that they were alive and that if anything happened to them it would be my fault for being a bad friend.
That kind of pressure is not good for anyone, but it’s even worse for someone like me who has barely learned to take care of herself. I didn’t know what to do. Thinking back on it, I should have called psych services, but things weren’t so cut and clear back then.